March 23, 2006

Disclaimer numerosity

Lawyers' emails often come with two disclaimers. One of them says something about confidentiality (maybe citing a United States Code section), and the second one says something about tax advice. One law firm website has email forms for contacting the attorneys, and it requires you to check a box next to a statement about how you understand that your message is not considered confidential. I'm surprised lawyers don't still use telegrams or wax seals. Western Union just stopped sending telegrams and no one uses a wax seal anymore. I should probably put some disclaimers on my emails just so people will think I'm cool, but if my correspondents are lawyers they'll probably read them and be offended when they see it is a satire.

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DISCLAIMER: Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. This message is an “electronic communication” under the meaning of 18 U.S.C. § 2510. See Official Comment 2(a)(3) subdivision (F)(1)(e) E=mc2. The sun will eventually expand and consume the earth. All copyrights and copylefts reserved and stuffed-shirted.

March 22, 2006

Avian numerosity

Our house was surrounded by numerous noisy birds this morning. There was a lot of chirping. I was trying to figure out if I was grumpy enough to want to load a streetsweeper with bird shot or awake enough to enjoy the sounds of “spring,” the name of this season that has had a cold start. I think the chirping conversation was something like:

“Hey, Fred! Aren't you cold?”

“Yeah, Bob. I'm freezing my tail off!”

“Well, I checked my calendar before I came, and I know it's spring. Blast it, I'm going to enjoy myself anyway!”

“Chirp on, brother!”

March 11, 2006