November 21, 2006
As a freshman at college Ryan found it difficult to stay motivated. It was too easy to sleep in and skip class. It was too easy to blow off homework on any particular night to hang out for long hours in the dining halls or student center. So he hired Jack, a man with a gun, to keep him in line. Ryan told Jack to call him at 6:30 every morning to make sure he was awake and to keep tabs on him throughout the day. So Jack always checked up on him and whispered threats to make him return to his calculus problems and ecology reports. Every now and then Jack pulled out his gun and pointed it at Ryan's head saying, "Do it or die!" Ryan got a lot of homework done for several weeks. But one day Jack walked into his dorm room unannounced and found him watching a Monty Python movie. Jack asked if he had read everything for tomorrow's political science class. Ryan said, "Look, I'm going to read up tomorrow morning when I get to class early. The professor gives us notes anyway. I'm pretty tired right now." Ryan wasn't fazed at the barrel of Jack's gun. Jack shot him. Ryan died, so he wasn't able to finish college after all. I guess his plan kind of backfired, eh?